A few words to characterize most human brains: busy, loud, stubborn, and scared. For many of us, our overactive brains keep us from opening to our deepest, most loving, most comfortable selves. When we are not open to these aspects of ourselves, we either hide by hibernating (literally or figuratively), or we stay busy with hilariously misaligned priorities. So busy that we’re not sleeping as we should.

In myself, when my priorities are askew [I'm procrastinating, fast-forwarding, not paying attention to the present abundance], I’m actually just scared, and i don’t sleep. The fear that keeps many of us awake: that we aren’t seen, heard, felt – and therefore alive. As disorienting as this fear may be, it is quite human, but it gets us doing the darndest things, into the wee hours of the morning, and not sleeping.

Tangentially, if you’re not currently sleeping well and you’re tripping over yourself about it as we all do sometimes, play your guitar [or whatever instrument you've always wanted to pick up]. At least it becomes time more sweetly spent.

If and when you want to try a practice that may help you reclaim some nourishing rest, read on.
After careful observation, I’m here to report that the only break from this fear — whatever form it’s taking in your life — is breathing consciously. Breathing delivers me into the present moment. And breathing is key to getting your healing rest.

When my mind has such a hold that I cannot breathe, Reiki returns me to my breathing.
The brief practice below incorporates Reiki, which helps us breathe, combined with conscious breathing, which helps us sleep.
Consistency equals efficacy here; you’ll feel the cumulative effects.

1. For everyday situations (walking, waiting, sitting — right now), place your left hand over your heart, center of your chest, fingers spread, palm flat. With your hand there, breathe into and around your brain. Use your breathing to make space between your actual brain and your skull (be creative with the visual and you will feel it in your softening eyes); then you may even breathe some more space between the two hemispheres of your brain. Keep your brain porous, spacious, and notice how that quality of openness is actually a reflection of your spacious heart below. Hold the space and notice your thought-pace slow down. Use this in meetings, in conversations, with children. Or several breaths right now.

2. Ideally done lying down or reclining, try this placement right now if you can. Place one or both hands on the top crown of your head, one in front of the other, elbows out to the sides, and breathe deeply into your heart. Broaden your heart; widen the space in the center of your chest laterally. As you breathe, maintain your expansive heart and notice the reflection of that opening higher up, in your mind, as well. Put some attention on the resonance in and around your hands.

Take a few breaths here.

2A. When you’re using this placement specifically before sleep: lying on your back, place your hands on the top crown of your head and let your elbows rest out to the sides on your pillow. Let your eyes relax [closed or open, as you wish] and review the scenes of your day with no judgment: where have you been, how did you speak, what did you offer? Be objective and keep your heart expansive as you breathe here. This is information-gathering, not judgment time.

The aim of this nightly review is to learn your habitual tendencies with your heart wide open– what they look like, sound like, their consequences — so they don’t continue to infect your every interaction. You’ll see which attitudes drain you and which nurture you. Whether you’re horrified, pleased, psyched, mortified upon seeing your behaviors; see those judgments, and remember that no judgment can take you over once you’ve seen it clearly as you’re breathing generously. Notice you’re sad: there is sadness, say hello- sadness is present, but it’s not YOU. Notice you’re thrilled! Greetings, thrilled, that’s what that feels like; return to your breathing and simply do whatever needs to be done next.

Your attention on your breathing sits right in the middle of any two strong polarities; if you’re breathing, you can see more clearly what’s required of you. My teacher recommends 5 minutes for the review; it helps me to have my hands on my head as I watch, and to breathe until my heart feels softer and more open even in the face of what I’m seeing.

Both of these hand placements are incorporated into a full Reiki self-treatment. 
Reiki: A Comprehensive Guide offers an enlightening history of this profoundly healing practice as well as details of the full self-treatment. To learn about Reiki, meet Pamela Miles, who’s committed herself to Reiki’s widespread scientific recognition and medical use in hospitals and critical-care environments [and, very thankfully, in my home]. 

This practice must be for yourself only – an intimate, quiet practice of self-care. 
We must fearlessly breathe through each frightfully sabotaging thought, one at a time, in order to know what real acceptance looks like. It takes longer on some nights, but now we have a practice, a vessel, a direction for a rambunctious brain.

Is such a concrete practice of self-nourishing, Self-acceptance the most efficient salve for sleeplessness? Or is it your 2 a.m. solitary guitar strumming? Let me know what’s true for you.

Fun assignment: write the following phrase on 5 small sticky notes and place them at eye level in your kitchen, your fridge, your mirrors, your door.

Take care of yourself.

Restorative Yoga was developed by B.K.S. Iyengar, a universally recognized expert on yoga. He is the author of the classic book, “Light on Yoga,” and was recently named one of the 100 most influential people of our time by TIME magazine.  He created Restorative Yoga by adapting classic yoga postures using “props” to help support the body and maintain the correct position without straining.  The goal of Restorative Yoga is to make the benefits of yoga postures available to people who are incapacitated in some way.

He created Restorative Yoga by adapting classic yoga postures using “props” to help support the body and maintain the correct position without straining. The goal of Restorative Yoga is to make the benefits of yoga postures available to people who are incapacitated in some way.

Restorative Yoga is particularly helpful when you feel rundown, burned out, stressed or just tired. It’s a powerful tool that supports the healing process during and after an illness or injury. During these times, energy must be conserved for the body to heal. These supported poses along with sleep and rest are very important to the healing process. I have found Restorative Yoga to be both healing and revitalizing. It gives you the effects of the poses without exerting any energy.

Here is a pose I find extremely restful and rejuvenating.

Illustration and text by Lindsey and Bobby Clennell

Reclining Belt Pose

You need:

1. A yoga bolster or large, thick sofa cushion.

2. Three pillows, (or rolled blankets) one to support your head, the other two to support your thighs

3. A belt (or two joined together) long enough to reach around your waist and feet, while in the position.

To do the pose:

Support your head so that it is not tilting back.  When going into the pose, allow the lower back to relax over the bolster.  Any stiffness usually fades after a minute or two.  Do not resist the pose – completely release into the position.  Occasionally,  extend the length of your exhalation and allow yourself to be more supported by the bolster.  Stay in the pose for five to ten minutes, relaxed with your eyes closed.  Then come up, undo the belt and stretch out your legs.

Nearly twenty years ago, I did a workshop with Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., whose first book “Full Catastrophe Living” and overall teachings have had a lasting influence on me. This book is a classic on the topic of mindfulness and it has played a spiritual role in both bringing this practice into the Integrative Medicine World as well as in developing the method we teach our patients on how to deal with stress.

I would like to share with you the Seven Essentials of Mindfulness Practice, adapted from this great book.

1. NON-JUDGING: be an impartial witness to your experience. Observing without judging helps you see what is on your mind without editing or intellectualizing it, or getting lost in your thoughts.
2. NON-STRIVING: no goal other than to be yourself. It is not about achieving bliss, relaxation or anything else.
3. ACCEPTANCE: a willingness to see things the way they are. By fully accepting what each moment offers, you are able to experience life much more completely.
4. LETTING GO: of thoughts, ideas, things, events, desires, views, hopes and experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant. Allowing things to be as they are, without getting caught up in our attachment to or rejection of them. It means to give up resisting or struggling and allowing things to be as they are. Watching your breath as it goes in and out is an excellent starting place for this practice of letting go.
5. BEGINNER’S MIND: free of expectations from past experience. Remove the attachment of the past and just be.  Watch the moments unfold, with no agenda other than to be fully present.  Use the breathe as an anchor to tether your attention to the present moment.
6. PATIENCE: remembering that things must unfold in their own time. An alternative to the mind’s restlessness and impatience. Not letting our anxieties and desire for certain results dominate the quality of the moment.
7. TRUST: in yourself and your feelings. A feeling of confidence that things can unfold within a dependable framework that embodies order and integrity.

We take our breathing for granted, usually breathing 12-16 times every minute without being aware of it. This is because whether it is fast or slow, whether we hold it or not, whether it is shallow or deep, the breath keeps going. Most of us don’t pay attention to the breath – the in-breath, the out-breath, how shallow or deep it is, it’s rhythm, how and when we hold our breath, the connection between our emotional state and breathing patterns, and interestingly how hard it is just to pay attention to such a simple thing. The only two times we usually start noticing it are when something happens to prevent us from breathing normally or when we start meditating or being mindful.

Becoming aware of the breath or learning to breath consciously seems to be consistently helpful with myself and almost all my patients.When you start paying attention to your breathing on a regular basis, your relationship to it changes dramatically. Notice how the rhythm of your breathing varies continuously. When we are upset, anxious or exercising our breathing speeds up, when we are relaxed or sleeping, it slows down.

Try this now: breath shallowly and see how you feel – then breath deeply and see the difference.

Benefits of Breathing

When we are aware of our breathing, it helps to calm the body and mind. This calmness helps us be more aware of our thoughts and feelings and not being swept away with them.

• It helps release tension and energizes us.
• It is the perfect antidote to the fight-or-flight reaction.
• It allows us be alive in every moment and leads to better health in general.
• The breath anchors us, reminds us to get out of our minds/thoughts and tune in to our bodies, so we can bring awareness to our experiences.

Breathing consciously is easy and convenient. It can be learned and practiced easily as opposed to other functions like maintaining a slow heart rate or low blood pressure.All meditation techniques will get you to focus on your breathing as part of the process.Tuning in to your breathing brings you in touch with the cycles, pulsation’s and flow of your body and how it changes with different emotional, mental and physical states. It anchors you in the awareness of your body, in the here and now.

The fact that it is a rhythmic process and that it is constantly changing teaches us to be comfortable with change, an essential aspect of stress management. Here are 2 easy breathing exercises you can do anywhere:

Abdominal breathing

1. Find a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed.
2. Get into a relaxed position whether lying down (better) or sitting up.
3. Put your hands on your abdomen
4. Close your mouth gently and touch your tongue to your upper palate and breath through your nose. If your nose is blocked for any particular reason it is fine to breath through your mouth.
5. Inhale deeply and slowly, being aware of your diaphragm moving downward and your abdomen expanding.  Your hands on your abdomen will feel the expansion like a balloon filling.
6. At the end of the inhalation, don’t hold the breath and your abdomen will fall automatically as you exhale.
7. Try get all the breath out of your lungs on the expiration. The expiration should normally be about twice as long as the inhalation when you get relaxed.

Keep repeating this, keeping your focus on your hands rising on the abdomen with inhalation and falling with expiration.

Breathing to release tension

1. Find a comfortable position.
2. Do 10 abdominal breaths.
3. Then imagine with your next inhalation, breathing into a tense area eg a tight neck or lower back, your head or your buttocks, wherever you may feel pain or tension.
4. With the exhalation let the tension go out the nose with the air.

Keep repeating this until the pain or tension starts to ease.