For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, January can be a bit gloomy. Sunlight is of the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it variety. Temperatures are low, the holiday buzz has ended and all that’s left is a burning desire to sleep until April. Chances are, even if you haven’t diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder (SAD), most f us will feel at least some of winter’s depressive effects, such as oversleeping, difficulty waking up, carb cravings, fatigue and general malaise. The good news is that there are a number of steps you can take to help banish the blues. Here’s where to start:

1) Light ‘em up.
Drench your days with light. Find a sunny spot outdoors and have lunch outside or do an errand or two on foot on your lunch-hour. Force yourself into the light! Supplement your doses of sunshine with full spectrum light bulbs at home and at the office add a full spectrum light bulb to your desk lamp to mimic the mood and immunity-boosting effects of sunshine.

2) But don’t get lit.
As in go easy on the cocktails. You’re not going to drink your way out of winter. Over-imbibing on a regular basis will compromise your immunity and depress mood – which is about the last thing you should be doing during the dark days. A glass of wine now and then is fine. A half bottle a night? Not so much.

3) Get out.
Preferably to a sunny locale. A quick trip to someplace warm and bright can go a long way when it comes to boosting immunity and mood. Some studies suggest that even the simple act of planning a trip can deliver mind/body benefits comparable to actually taking the trip, so why delay joy?
If you can’t swing a weekend in the sun, then stay local and plan day trips. Do something that you wouldn’t normally do or haven’t done in years. Day-trip to an indoor water park or botanical garden for an instant dose of simulated summer. Brave the elements at local ski-hill, build a snowman, go sledding, take a hike through the snow. Whatever you choose to do, the idea is to break out of the sedentary winter mindset. Can’t decide between indoors and out? Then consider this: outdoor activities can burn up to 50% more calories than indoor ones – so get out there!

4) Shake your groove thing.
Keep moving through the winter – don’t let the cold temperatures keep you from staying active. Can’t get out before then sun goes down? Then take a cue from Lady Gaga and “just dance.” Make the living room your dance floor, draw the curtains if you must and crank up your favorite tunes. Loose yourself in the music and dance for 10 minutes every day to boost spirits and keep your body energized.

5) Surprise your senses.
Stuck in a visual rut? Then color your world with a few light, brightly colored pillows, a fresh coat of paint or new bedding in sunny shades. Light, bright colors will reflect sunlight during the day and keep rooms from feeling dreary at night. Think of light and color as a way to guide your eyes and your brain into a sunnier disposition.

6) Make your own happy pill.
In other words, engage in health-supporting, pleasurable activities that help release those sought-after endorphins. Book a spa day, take a sauna at the gym, go for a swim, hang out in a hot tub, get a massage. Anything you can do that makes your body feel good, short of drugs or alcohol, is worth doing.

7) Get up in someone’s face.
And we mean that in the nicest of ways. Get off your Facebook page, quit out of Skype and force yourself to make actual face-to-face dates. Human interaction and community is essential to our mental and spiritual well-being. Last winter, one of my less-outgoing patients learned to work around her shyness by joining a meditation group, which enabled her to quietly enjoy the feeling of community, without needing to speak more than she was comfortable with.

8) Have a happy meal.
Eat in a way that supports your health and prevents spikes and dips in your energy levels. The easiest way to do it is to keep sugar and (bad) fats to a minimum and go easy on the cocktails. Load up your plate with leafy greens, plus high-quality protein and good fats to keep your body on an even keel.

9) Think positive
If you trudge into the season like a character in a Russian novel, the winter is going to feel like a long one. Instead, make an effort to reframe your attitude towards winter. Think of it like a work project that needs attention, planning and creative solutions in order to achieve the goal, rather than an annual “nightmare” that needs to be “survived.” Find joy in days when the mercury rises, learn to love a cloudless sky, witness the clarity of a winter sunset. Remind yourself that there is beauty to be found in winter skies that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

10) Supplement your happiness. In addition to eating well throughout the winter, the addition of a few mood-boosting supplements, such as Vitamin D, Omega-3’s, melatonin and magnesium can also help keep spirits high. Click here for my list of favorite, blues-chasers.

Writer and designer Graham Hill asks: Can having less stuff, in less room, lead to more happiness? He makes the case for taking up less space, and lays out three rules for editing your life.

You are so busted! You know what you did. Or didn’t do. Where you’ve fallen short.

Think about it. I’ll wait . . .

I hope you’ve had time to reflect and figure it out.

This was the single line my youngest daughter said to me: “You are so busted.” Though she was imitating something from a TV show, it struck me and really got me thinking. I scanned. Was it something I ate, drank or smoked? No. Was it something I promised her and went back on? No. How is my marriage? Pretty damn great. Is my money in good shape? Yup. Doing well with my family members? Check.

I kept thinking and of course came up with a good one, since you know how addicted to personal growth I am. But I also got very curious what other people would come up with if they got stuck with that same charge: “you are so busted.”

Scan the same areas I did and then dig even deeper. Long pause.

Here is what I came up with: I have a dream to be a world changer, a leader, someone who helps bring new levels of peace and happiness to humanity. And, as inspiring as this dream is, most moments of the day I “cheat” on it by being somewhere else in my consciousness. Some of my favorite states of consciousness include “control freak,” “mistrustful” and “better than.” Neville, my favorite author on manifesting, explains that we can only be “being” in one state at a time. So here is my plan–so far–for inhabiting my desired state of consciousness, called “spiritual leader,” more often than one of those others:

1) Track my thoughts throughout the day and keep a log of thoughts that go against my dream. Don’t get upset by these, but be excited to catch them. This never gets old and is never a waste of time.

2) Spend as much time as possible, using any idle time, to imagine myself as a spiritual leader and taste, touch, hear, speak the words I would if it were so.

3) Catch negative “thought trains” and choose not to get on them. Even if they feel comfortable or familiar, like worrying about an upcoming event or rehashing a “bad result,” just don’t go there, change my mind. Instead, go back to #2.

4) Do things I wouldn’t normally do in honor of my dream. For example, I am going to record a product to sell with myself as the star!

How about you?

You can see the point here is first, ‘fess up to where you are betraying your own dreams, standards, or even simply avoiding doing the right thing. Then, change your mind, your feelings and your actions. I am not trying to make it seem simple (though the directions are) but I am urging you to START NOW.

Please make getting busted the best thing that ever happened to you! Start now by posting your confession in the comment section below. I admitted mine, now I want to hear yours.

Love,

Laurie

P.S. Need help getting busted? The Handel Group™ Life Coaching Crash Course is an immersive workshop that leverages the main components of The Handel Method® to quickly set your life on a new and exciting trajectory. This is the most intense of our offerings, and also the most bang for your buck! Workshops are held year round in New York, Boston, California and D.C. Check for future dates and register with promo code: lipman to save $100.

What’s your relationship to your breath? Do you have one?

There are days that go by when I take about two full breaths. Sound familiar? I have a magnet on my vision board that reminds me to BREATHE and a huge Inhale, Exhale card obviously doing the same. But it’s still not enough. I mean, how many reminders do we need?

We’re basically lazy when it comes to breathing, don’t you think? We are so used to the breath always being with us, that we unequivocally take it for granted. Additionally, we’re often so checked out of our bodies that we actually believe we breathe with our brains.

More than 7 years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child, this was made abundantly clear. I had a random and terrifying panic attack. I literally couldn’t find my breath—it was so shallow and constricted—and my mind went crazy searching for it. Only when I dropped out of my head, and re-inhabited my body, did breathing kick in and my lungs soften to receive it.

Seriously, we shouldn’t have to wait around for something acute like this to happen to get us to pay attention to our breathing. If you’re not convinced, here are five of my favorite reasons, and things we can do, to be more conscious of the breath:

1. CLEANSE—Inhale the fresh and the vibrant. Exhale the toxic and the un-necessary.

2. CONDUCT—Send healing breath into sore parts of your body, and help to alleviate physical pain.

3. CALM—Take slow attentive breaths to quiet you down when you are aggravated and on edge.

4. CENTER—With each inhale and exhale, draw inwards and awaken deeper awareness of you.

5. CONNECT—Synchronize body and mind, and link with spirit.

In meditation, we are often encouraged to count our breath. Maybe this sounds incredibly dull to you, like counting sheep to put you to sleep. Yet in my son’s bedtime book, Russell the Sheep, Russell is a sheep who tries desperately hard to fall asleep but he just can’t settle down. He tries counting everything, until he finally decides to count sheep or essentially count on himself. Guess what? It works. Finally, relaxed enough, he dozes off.

Breathing is like this too. When we count our breath, we count on our breath. We discover it is the ticket back to ourselves. The breath both coaches and coaxes us into self-reliance, not only for relaxation into sleeping states, but also for profound letting go in superlatively chaotic and awake states. What a tool!

The beauty of breath is that it is, for most of us, always available. It is after all what makes living in these blessed and temperamental bodies possible, right? So please, if nothing else, honor your breathing. Believe in it. Really value it. Consciously BREATHE.

In sweetness,

Maggie

Eckhart Tolle discusses meditation and the value of “being” present.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Is there something you’ve always meant to do, wanted to do, but just … haven’t? Matt Cutts suggests: Try it for 30 days. This short, lighthearted talk offers a neat way to think about setting and achieving goals.

We’ve been taught that following through on New Year’s resolutions is all about willpower. But it turns out that willingness may be a far more valuable ally.

One popular characterization of insanity describes it as “doing the same thing over and over, expecting to get a different result.” And at no time of the year is that particular brand of insanity more evident than right now — the dreaded resolutions season.

Every January, there’s a lot of talk about the right and wrong ways to go about making change. Techniques and strategies abound (another serving of S.M.A.R.T. goals, anyone?), but most of them share a common underlying assumption: That changing your life is an act of will.

We Americans love the idea of willpower. It’s forceful, bold, intrepid. It reeks of individual determination, and it suggests just enough stalwart endurance to satisfy our stoic sensibilities.

The will speaks in a commanding voice: Go forth! Make it so! And there’s some kick-start value in that. But I would argue that the real key to creating positive change over time is not so much will as it is willingness.

Unlike the will, which is all the rage this time of year, willingness doesn’t get a lot of airtime in our culture. It comes across as too passive, perhaps, too cooperative, too eager to please, too… feminine. But I’d argue that when it comes to shifting personal behavior and establishing new habits, willingness is actually a much better and more reliable partner.

The problem with the will is that it’s one hard-driving taskmaster — but it tends to cement itself to a static idea of success and, thus, to constant reminders of the potential for failure.

The will tends to think it has all the answers and it doesn’t relish asking for directions. Willingness, on the other hand, is full of open-minded inquiries, like: How might I go about getting started on this project? What would happen if I tried this? What would be most helpful now?

Where the will never says die, willingness is continually reborn — and it gets smarter and stronger each time around.

That’s why, this year, as my first official Revolutionary Act (a series of convention-busting experiments in changing my life for the better, and the basis for this blog), I’m putting willingness in charge of my new year’s resolutions. Currently, these include: 1) being on time more often; 2) getting outside daily; and 3) never sitting for more than two hours at a stretch. (For a busy magazine editor, all three are tougher than they sound.)

Effectively, my revolutionary shift here is asking, “What I’m willing to do differently in the service of these goals?” — rather than insisting, “I am going to do these things, no matter what it takes.”

I’m also cultivating my willingness to notice when I do and don’t succeed in these endeavors, and to pay attention to how I do or do not go about accomplishing them on a day-to-day basis. Because as Zen teacher Cheri Huber likes to remind us: “How you do anything is how you do everything.”

The great thing about seeing my resolutions as an experiment in willingness is that even if I “fail” at something on any given day, I still “succeed” in learning something valuable that empowers me to succeed the next day.

One thing I’ve already noticed, for example, is that my tendency toward chronic lateness (15 minutes, notoriously) has a lot to do with my believing I should/must/need to always do “just one more thing” before I leave the house.

Am I willing to change that? Yes, and: I’m also aware that it yanks at a stubborn, semi-conscious belief I hold about my value coming from what I accomplish, rather than who I am.

That’s a belief worth examining more closely, because it’s probably at the core of some other self-sabotaging tendencies, too. (For deeper insights on the value of challenging limiting beliefs, check out the terrific book, “Immunity to Change” [Harvard Business School Press, Feb. 2009] by Robert Kegan, Ph.D., and Lisa Lahey, Ph.D.)

So, am I willing to challenge that belief about my value being tied to my frenzied (and often counterproductive) productivity? Yes.

Does the idea of moving beyond my chronic lateness become more energizing and potentially powerful when I think of it in this context? And does it make me more willing to experiment with not doing one more thing? Yes, indeed! Thank you, willingness.

I am choosing to engage willingness because, in my experience, my will has not always been my best ally in creating positive change. In fact, leaning too heavily on my will often brings out the most negative and self-critical in me. And research suggests that this is true for many of us (for more on that, read this fascinating article from Scientific American on “The Willpower Paradox.”

It turns out that the will talks a tough game, but it hates losing — so much so that it is prone to walking away in a huff just as things are getting interesting. Willingness, meanwhile, sees every lost round as an opportunity to sharpen skills, strategy and awareness.

Willingness, in short, is all about learning and growing. And that’s why I’m making it the centerpiece of my Revolutionary Acts project, which is all about experiments in creating a healthier, happier, more satisfying life by doing things a little (or a lot) differently. Differently than we’ve been taught. Differently than we’ve been told. Differently than “that’s just the way things are done.”

Many of my experiments will involve challenging the dominant norms, patterns and assumptions of our society. Others will involve challenging my own comfort zones and beliefs.

I’ll be sharing my experiences in this blog and also in my regular column at Experience Life, the healthy-living magazine I’ve been editing for the past decade.

My goal with this blog, as with the magazine, is to share insights and resources that can help more of us make the most of our time and energy, enhance our well-being, and increase our satisfaction in living. Because I believe that for us to address the biggest challenges we are facing — individually and collectively — we are going to need to be at our strongest, most energized and resilient best.

I hope you’ll share your own revolutionary experiences — of challenging limiting norms and assumptions, of rejecting stale conventions, and of reinventing yourself and your life however you see fit.

Which reminds me: If you’re working on any healthy-living goals this year, you might enjoy visiting www.RevolutionaryAct.com, a site powered by Experience Life and stocked with wisdom from some of our favorite experts. You’ll find a variety of Revolutionary Resources there, including my “Manifesto for Thriving in a Mixed Up World” and “101 Revolutionary Ways to Be Healthy.”

Here’s to an all-new 2012! And may we all summon the willingness to make it great.

What is it that makes us feel helpless in our lives? How best can we handle our perceived powerlessness? How too might this feeling instruct us in more deeply knowing ourselves?

Awful as it may be, the anatomy of helplessness is fascinating in all its trickery. When struck by it, we feel impotent to and victims of its torment. We scamper madly about in our panic, in search of any external source of aid to bail us out, convinced as we are in those sputtering moments of our own incompetence. This is understandable given how helplessness holds within it the distinct and scary sense of being utterly out of control. But the dominant trouble when we skip over ourselves in sole favor of outside supports is that we actually re-initiate and compound our helplessness.

For the entirety of 2007 and 2008, when in the relentless throes of my illness, the bulk of my days were spent shuffling from one imagined savior to the next. Trying to escape my suffocating helplessness, I ran in desperation for other people to fix me. I basically lived on healing tables and in examination rooms, until more than two years later my wonderful nutritionist suggested to me that I try going one full week without seeing a single expert, and instead just practice being with myself. Somehow, somewhere, her words resonated. I realized that I had been so crippled and broken down, that I had taken myself entirely out of the healing equation. Ironically, only when I gave up the chase, and instead connected with and leaned on myself, did wellness appear.

What’s palpably hard is that helplessness is so unbearable in its de-invigoration that it of course makes us want to bolt. Yet it is crucial that we break the cycle of running from our powerlessness, and instead stop to look at it. This is where the revelatory work resides: In being tolerant of feeling feeble, and in understanding, even in our acute discomfort, that there is more at play than this feeling. In taking a leavened, eyes-open view of our controlling emotion, we see through it and experience the curious and novel landscape beyond that of incapacity. When we honor its transparency, and accept it for what it is, helplessness is transformed into helpfulness.

I love this clean merging with self-reliance. Still, on my more at-sea days, when I start to fray and have the urge to search somewhere else for strength, I listen to Bob Marley’s ‘High Tide or Low Tide’ where he says, “In high seas or in low seas, I’m gonna be your friend, I’m gonna be your friend. In high tide or in low tide, I’ll be by your side, I’ll be by your side.” Quietly, I change the lyrics to “I’m gonna be my friend, I’ll be by my side,” and imagine holding out a stable unwavering branch to myself. In other words, I guide myself back in.

The prolific Zen teacher Norman Fischer also writes of this action, of calling out to and answering self. He asserts, “That’s a beautiful moment: to just drop everything and say to yourself, feel for yourself, here I am. It’s collecting yourself, recollecting yourself, recalling yourself from whatever it is you have been lost in.”

Next time you are discombobulated or at a loss, remember the spirit of help. Try this call and response. You’ll be amazed at how sweetly the moment opens up, brimming in full with the calm solidity of knowing you are in fact your own best ally.

Reprinted with permission from Experience Life Magazine.

Before you set healthy goals for 2012, stop and appreciate what you’ve already accomplished. A quick look back may be the best tool for evaluating what comes next.

By Experience Life Staff

Like it or not, another 12 months have zoomed by. If you haven’t checked off every last thing on your resolutions list, don’t fret. Chances are you still accomplished a great deal, probably more than you’re giving yourself credit for. Really. We’re not just being nice.

Perhaps you’ve started eating a little healthier, and you’re feeling more energetic as a result. Maybe you’ve managed to put a few miles on the bike you bought three years ago. This is the stuff you need to acknowledge as forward progress, not as evidence of a larger job as yet undone.

Viewing this year’s successes in sharper relief can help prime you for even more success in 2012 — because it helps you see that you are, in fact, making health and fitness a priority in your life. Recognizing even a little forward progress lets you upgrade your pursuits from the dreaded “should” or “have to” status (or worse, “total failure” status) and helps you build positive momentum.

“Taking stock this way helps you clearly communicate to yourself that being active and living a healthy lifestyle are truly important to you,” says Jennifer Davis, MS, a health psychology counselor for the Duke Center for Living in Durham, N.C.

To help you get a better sense of what you’ve accomplished in 2011, we’ve compiled three checklists — for fitness, nutrition and quality of life. You can use them to take a quick inventory of your own healthy progress. (See Web Extra! for additional resources.)

Even if you check only a box or two, we hope that assessing your accomplishments over the past year will help you recognize and appreciate that incremental progress is real progress.  Here’s to celebrating it all, and to planning an even more successful 2012!

For insights on the progressive stages of change, read “The Stages of Change.”

Fitness

Planning and Contemplation
During the past year, did you . . .
• Recognize the need for more activity in your life? Take stock of your current fitness status?

• Get a health assessment or seek advice about an appropriate fitness program?

• Set any fitness goals? Take even a few baby steps toward them?

• Schedule (write in your calendar) specific times to work out or be active? Show up for planned workouts, even some of the time? Even once?

Education and Support
During the past year, did you . . .
• Share your goals or intentions with other people? Ask for their support, or ask them to help hold you accountable?

• Seek out any information, guidance or support related to getting in shape or taking your fitness program to a new level (from books, magazines, Web sites, mobile apps, coaches or trainers)?

• Experiment with different kinds of fitness routines or activities? Find that you liked some things better than others?

Execution and Momentum
During the past year, did you . . .
• Direct some of your daily choices and actions toward achieving better fitness? (For example, did you start taking the stairs, walking after dinner, watching less TV, making it to the gym more often?)

• Participate in any athletic events or competitions? Work out in a class or with a group? Use activity as a way to de-stress, relax or wind down?

• Do anything you might not have thought possible before?

Nutrition

Planning and Contemplation
During the past year, did you . . .
• Realize that your body needs and deserves better nutrition than you’ve been giving it?

• Inquire with your health professional, nutritional specialist or trainer about what type of eating plan or dietary changes would be advisable for you?

• Set any healthy-eating goals? Document any of them? Create a plan toward achieving them?

• Remove any unhealthy items from your home? Quit buying (or cut back on buying) any unhealthy, overprocessed or “problem” foods?

Education and Support
During the past year, did you . . .
• Seek out any guidance related to expanding your conscious awareness, moving beyond old limitations or living a more satisfying life (from books, magazines, classes, retreats, Web sites,
conversations)?

• Share your insights and intentions with other people, especially intimate friends or your partner? Ask for their support and input?

• End the year knowing more about your values and priorities, and where your current life stands in relationship to them, than you did at the year’s outset?

Execution and Momentum
During the past year, did you . . .
• Follow through with even part of your resolution plans? Recognize when you were wandering off course or forgetting about them? Make any course corrections or adjustments to your plan?

• Carve out a little more time for play, spiritual exploration, rest, meditation and other “nonproductive” tasks? Create time and space to become a better steward of your physical health?

• Overcome any fears, or do something that demanded bravery at the time? Resist the temptation to beat yourself up for not succeeding at something?

Quality of Life

Planning and Contemplation
During the past year, did you . . .
•  Become aware that you’d like to feel more connected to a sense of higher purpose and meaning? Identify some ways that stress, fear or anger might be detracting from your health, mood or the quality of your relationships?

•  Inquire with your health professional, coach or wise friend about some changes, explorations or personal-development tools that might be useful for you?

•  Set any personal development or life-balance goals? Rearrange any priorities? Create a plan toward achieving them?

Education and Priorities
During the past year, did you . . .
• Seek out any guidance related to expanding your conscious awareness, moving beyond old limitations or living a more satisfying life (from books, magazines, classes, retreats, Web sites,
conversations)?

• Share your insights and intentions with other people, especially intimate friends or your partner? Ask for their support and input?

• End the year knowing more about your values and priorities, and where your current life stands in relationship to them, than you did at the year’s outset?

Execution and Momentum
During the past year, did you . . .
• Follow through with even part of your resolution plans? Recognize when you were wandering off course or forgetting about them? Make any course corrections or adjustments to your plan?

• Carve out a little more time for play, spiritual exploration, rest, meditation and other “nonproductive” tasks? Create time and space to become a better steward of your physical health?

• Overcome any fears, or do something that demanded bravery at the time? Resist the temptation to beat yourself up for not succeeding at something?

Take Stock, Take Credit

If you’ve been able to say yes to any of these things, congratulations. And if reading through these examples has shaken loose any insights about other areas of progress, give yourself some more gold stars! You’ve made headway, and with luck, you’ve also made some sense of what it takes for you to make positive change in any area of your life. Take pride in the fact that this year, your good intentions took you somewhere you wanted to go — in the direction of your hopes, your values and your most promising future.

Reprinted with permission from Experience Life Magazine.

Experience Life magazine is an award-winning health and fitness publication that aims to empower people to live their best, most authentic lives, and challenges the conventions of hype, gimmicks and superficiality in favor of a discerning, whole-person perspective. Visit www.experiencelife.com to learn more, to sign up for Experience Life newsletters, or to subscribe to the print or digital version.

I recently did a workshop with one of my favorite peeps, Bob Thurman, at the beautiful Menla Mountain Retreat Center…..so I thought I would share some of his unlimited wisdom. Here is Bob talking about Peace and Nirvana at the Menla Mountain Retreat Center in October 2006. He explains how nirvana is the ultimate, real state of our existence and how we can develop a peace within ourselves that absorbs stress.

Click here to view the embedded video.